A series of exchanges between pilots and control towers, which you might find amusing. Would be nice to have some veterinary equivalents, so do feel free to comment beneath this story with any quick-witted exchanges you've heard between vets and vets / nurses / clients.
San Jose Tower to a DC-10 that had come into land too fast, and thus had an exceedingly long roll out after touching down:"American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of the runway, if you are able. If you are not able, take the Guadeloupe exit off Highway 101, make a right at the lights and return to the airport." ***************************************************************
Tower: "TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees." TWA 2341: "Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?" Tower: "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?" ***************************************************************
Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on frequency 124.7" Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure. By the way,after we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway." Tower: " Continental 635, cleared for takeoff behind Eastern 702, contact Departure on frequency 124.7. Did you copy that report from Eastern 702?" BR Continental 635: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, roger; and yes, we copied Eastern... we've already notified our caterers." ****************************************************************
A BA 747, callsign Speedbird 206 landed at Frankfurt aiport and was just pulling clear of the runway
Speedbird 206: "Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway." Frankfurt ground: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven." The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop. Frankfurt ground: "Speedbird 206, do you not know where you are going?" Speedbird 206: "Stand by, ground, I'm looking up our gate location now." Frankfurt ground (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?" Speedbird 206: "Er yes, just the once. It was 1944 ... We didn't land."
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